


Vegeta, This is Your Life

by GokuGirl



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Humor, Out of Character, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-06-19
Updated: 2001-06-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 23:05:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4411367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GokuGirl/pseuds/GokuGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vegeta is tricked into appearing on a television show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vegeta, This is Your Life

Blindfolded and scowling, Vegeta let Bulma steer him through some building. He didn't know what was going on, exactly, but he could feel a lot of smothered kis belonging to a lot of people. There were many different kinds of humans around too.

"Just a little bit further," Bulma said into his ear. "We're almost there."

He just wished she would get this over with so he could go home and train.

Bulma had approached him earlier that afternoon holding a blindfold. Of course he thought she wanted to do something kinky.

After being smacked for even suggesting it, Bulma went on to say that it was a surprise. So she convinced him to allow her to tie the strip of cloth around his eyes and lead him off somewhere.

"Onna, what the hell is going on?" he asked after Bulma gently pushed him down into a chair. She grinned to herself in satisfaction.

"Oh, nothing much. Just this." Then she removed the blindfold and the audience began to clap enthusiastically.

'Wait a second,' he said to himself. 'Audience?!'

Just then Goku emerged from the left hand side of the stage, dressed in his traditional orange gi. He smiled at the people and at the cameras and sat down in a chair on Vegeta's left.

"This is your life Vegeta-ouji!" His grin became even brighter. "And I'm your special guest host, Son Goku!"

This time the crowd burst into cheers, whistles, and foot stomping in addition to the applause. One voice was louder than all of the rest.

"That's my Goku!" This was from ChiChi.

"What are you talking about?" Vegeta demanded to know. "How did you get to be the host of *anything* except Bakas Anonymous?"

A burst of fake laughter came from the larger saiyan. "Funny! But seriously though, why are you so short? Your father wasn't short. Most of our entire race was tall!"

Vegeta's eyes began to twitch. "How would you know about that anyway?!"

Goku didn't answer him. Instead he turned toward stage right. "That brings me to our first guest."

"Nani?" Confusion was written all over his face.

"Do you know this voice, Vegeta?"

_"We used to spar together when he was a kid. Actually I was his sensei in martial arts. The little gaki always did have potential."_

He frowned even deeper in thought. "Do you know how many years ago I used to be a kid?"

Goku made a buzzer-like sound. "Time's up Vegeta. Let's bring out our first guest, Nappa!"

Jumping to his feet, Vegeta pointed at the giant saiyan with a shocked look on his face. "You're dead!"

"Yeah, I know." Nappa basically scowled at him. "You were the one that killed me, remember?" He took a seat next to Vegeta. "At least I didn't get killed by a third-class." He glared at Goku.

He shrugged. "I just hurt you a little, that's all. But if you ever try to kill Gohan again...."

"This isn't about you," Vegeta interrupted. "Look, why did Enma let you go free?"

The bald man pointed to the halo above his head. "It's only for one day, gaki. Then I'm going right back to Hell with the rest of our race."

"Don't call me a gaki! I'm a grown man!"

He snorted. "You're still a dwarf."

Vegeta started to gather a ball of ki into his palm. "Don't make me put you back there a little early."

"I'm already dead! Unless you find some way to do it again, you're wastin' your ki."

This was when Goku decided to cut in. "Now Vegeta, do you have some questions for Guest #1?"

He smirked evilly. "Hai. Do you and Raditz have fun in the afterlife?"

Nappa's face got bright red. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't try to lie about it!" Vegeta pointed a finger at him. "I *know* things about you!"

Nappa also jumped up. "You wouldn't know unless you were watchin', voyeur!"

Goku pushed them apart. "This is becoming like Jerry Springer so I'm stopping this right now. Besides, the conversation was getting disturbing." He flashed another dazzling, one-hundred watt smile at the camera. "Nappa, ladies and gentlemen!"

The audience clapped politely and he exited the stage.

"Now for Guest #2. Vegeta, do you know this voice?"

_"You stupid monkey! How dare you use the Dragonballs!"_

"I know who that is," Vegeta growled. "Frieza!"

The small changeling, who was in his first form, passed Nappa on his way by. Not being able to resist temptation, he tripped the much larger being with his tail. Nappa fell face first toward the ground causing the stage to shake a little. Frieza continued toward a chair without even the slightest acknowledgment of the incident.

"How have you been, monkey?" Frieza asked with a smirk on his face. "How did you like Hell?"

"You little...! I'm still mad at you for putting me there!"

He waved on black nail tipped hand. "Whatever. It was fourteen years ago." His tail curled over one leg and into his lap casually.

"Don't just dismiss this like it was nothing!" Vegeta shouted as his ki began to rise. "You're going to hurt for this!" Screaming in rage, he transformed into SSJ3.

Frieza had his eyes closed, not even paying attention. Since he can't sense ki.... "You can't kill me."

"I know that!" he snapped. "But I can make you suffer!" This was when Frieza looked over at him.

"You're just like Son Goku and that boy!" He basically shrieked and jumped from his chair. He has a little phobia about super saiyans.

Vegeta laughed evilly. "Of course. I am the Legendary Super Saiyan!"

Goku lightly smacked him upside the head. "Iie, you're not." Then he turned toward the camera as Vegeta began to chase the changeling around the stage. "That brings me to our very last and special guest!"

Vegeta sort of paused. "Nani?"

"The true Legendary Super Saiyan!"

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"Let's welcome Brolli to the stage!"

Vegeta blinked in shock. "NANI?!" Now it was his turn to sort of tremble.

The tall, insane saiyan walked out onto the stage. He took one look at Goku and sort of went into a rage.

"KAKAROTT!"

Goku laughed nervously at the camera. "That's it for our addition of "This is Your Life"! I'm your special guest host, Son Goku." He dropped his mike to the floor and ran. Vegeta ran seeing Brolli coming in his direction and Frieza ran seeing Vegeta running in his. Basically it was just a huge chase scene. Then a stray ki beam cracked the television camera and another made it burst into flame. The audience began to scream in terror and take off towards the exits.

"You're a baka Tousan!" Gohan shouted from the foot of the stage. "Why in Kami's name did you invite him?!"

Goku ducked Brolli's fist and turned super saiyan. "He *was* a part of Vegeta's life!"

"Yeah, he was. But he hates your guts!"

"That's Son-kun for you," Bulma sighed. "Inviting people that want to kill him."

"Forget that! We have to get out of here," Gohan told them. "I don't want to get mixed up in this again." He grabbed his mother and flew out through a hole conveniently (or not so conveniently) placed in the roof. Trunks was close behind him with Bulma and Goten, Videl, Pan, and Bra sort of straggled out behind them all.

 

SEVERAL HOURS LATER....

Goku came home skipping. I mean, really, he was laughing and skipping and basically happy. Gohan looked up from the front porch of his own house where he had been pacing and waiting up for his tousan.

"Are you alright? What happened to Brolli and Frieza?"

Goku grinned and gave a thumbs up. "Well, about ten minutes ago they just vanished.  _Poof!_  I guess their 'one-day' had ran out." Then he yawned and his stomach growled at the same time. "But it was a great spar anyway. I'm hungry and a little sleepy. Did your mother leave some food out for me?"

Gohan shrugged. "I have no idea."

"GOKU!" ChiChi yelled from inside the house. "Why are you coming home so late?!"

"ChiChi!" He whined. "I'm hungry!"

She stopped and just sighed. "Come on, Goku-sa, I'll cook you something."

"Arigatou ChiChi!" He waved at Gohan. "Tomorrow they asked me to host again. They said that they never had higher ratings up until Brolli blew up the camera."

"NO!" They both shouted at the same time. ChiChi grabbed him by the ear and dragged him into the house. "You are never, EVER hosting anything again as long as you live. Do you understand Goku-sa?"

He nodded. "Hai, ChiChi."

"Good."

Gohan watched then both go into the house and shook his head. "Why is my family so strange?" he asked aloud.

Of course he didn't receive an answer.


End file.
